Earthlings and Their Affections

News of your comrades "Rihanna" and "Chris Brown" has greatly puzzled the citizens of Orion. While we are a species infected with an unbelievable rage, we rarely turn on each other because of the truly hideous defenses we've evolved.

For instance, if I ever "bitch slapped" my mating partner with a swift tentacle to the face, she'd likely unhinge her reproductive orifice and absorb me into her womb, where my innards would be quickly repurposed as the building blocks of her next brood. So we have a great deal of respect for one another.

Your rage will have no bearing on our invasion plans. We've found that the most muscular amongst you are also the most susceptible to being distracted by shiny objects. The conquest will be over before you can raise a hand against us. Surrender your dreams and prepare for a life of silent servitude! To the workers of Wal-Mart, you may not notice much of a difference.

Hail Zzyzx!